Today, I watched 34 minutes of Star Trek: Into Darkness.
(And about 70 seconds of J.J. Abrams
promising sexy new 3D techniques...)
28 of these minutes were consecutive. They represented the film’s opening half hour. A duo of 2-3 minute scenes followed: Money shots essentially. But I’m going to make you wait for those!
[MUSIC NOTE: Into Darkness
is sporting a new theme remarkably reminiscent of Alan Silvestri’s The Avengers]
SPOILERIFICATION COMMENCES!Picking up where Daniel left off in his 9 minute preview last Christmas
is about to get LAVA-ed by an erupting volcano on Nibiru
. Infinitely more concerned for his First Officer’s fate than the integrity of the Prime Directive, Kirk
orders the Enterprise
up out of the ocean and to the rescue. Cue a minute of Enterprise
WOW shots. The novelty of watching a planet bound starship should not be understated. There’s a sense of scale, and it’s a pleasing one.
I’m going to split from straight chronology here to give you a more coherent synopsis...
Main Titles done, Noel Clarke
’s “UP” scene has been shuffled forward. Taking Benedict CumberVillian
up on his offer, he’s posted a Starfleet
Ring and a vial of John Harrison
’s super-blood. The latter cures his ailing daughter, but at a price - The destruction of Federation Archives in London.Noel Clarke
drops the enigmatic ring into a glass of water and makes with the boom-time. Maybe it was made out of potassium. (Everyone else did that Potassium + Water test in school right?!)
three-way with a pair of tailed cat ladies is cut short when he and Spock
are called before of Admiral Pike.Kirk
assumes it concerns a certain deep-space five year exploration mission. Not being an idiot, Spock
rightly assumes it’s about the Nibiru
The following scene (and a barroom follow-up) is too amusing and affecting to spoil the technicalities. But the fallout is – Spock
gets transferred off the Enterprise
out of the Captain’s chair, Pike’s
back in and, as a gesture of fatherly affection, secures Kirk
the vacant First Officer post.
So we’re back to where we were 4 years ago
really. It feels both contrived and realistic simultaneously. Kirk’s
gifted, but young. Arrogant but brilliant. Makes sense he might some missteps on the old Starfleet
career climb. Still, in terms of character development, we’re left a little wanting.
Good thing there’s an entire feature film on the horizon...
In response to the London bombing, Starfleet
Head Honchos (and their immediate underlings, explaining the presence of Kirk
) led by Peter Weller’s
Admiral Robocop, sorry, Admiral Marcus
decide a Federation
wide manhunt for COMMANDER John Harrison
is immediately underway.
[Still no sign of Alice Eve
but given this is SCIENCE Fiction, chances are SCIENCE Officer Carol Marcus
won’t lack for screen-time in the final build.]
Perceptive as he is slutty, Kirk
notes protocol for incidents of this magnitude dictates Starfleet High Command
convene in one, isolated, poorly defended room. Kind of like a bull’s-eye for terrorists. As if on cue, a shuttle piloted by Harrison
hovers into view and lays waste to the Admiralty with green phaser fire.
I’m not sure why it’s green. But there are Klingons
mucking about. So perhaps the connection will become clear...Admiral Pike
gets shot in the chest. Like, square! Spock
drags him clear but still, I wouldn’t be surprised if he finds himself slipping *ahem* Into Darkness this May.
Having snagged a phaser rifle Kirk
, opens fire upon the shuttle. Said resistance is futile. He opts for a more successful tactic, tying the rifle in a fire hose and launching it for the shuttle’s exhaust. I didn’t think shuttles still had exhausts but whatever!Harrison
beams away, but not before exchanging venomous glances with Kirk
. The shuttle crashes in satisfyingly spectacular fashion.
And on to the Money Shots!
is crashing. Power, both primary and auxiliary is offline. Acting Captain Spock
orders a ship-wide evacuation. Sulu
tells him to shove it and desperately tries to stop his craft from rolling. Elsewhere Scotty
scramble for engineering while the hull shifts and rotates around them. Being trendy, it’s very Inception. Being accurate, it’s much better! Decks and corridors become gaping death-traps. Bodies plummet. Detritus tears free. The Federation Flagship
falls to earth. It’s excitement city.
Population: your brain!
crashes, slicing through the San Fran (?) skyline. A sweaty Harrison
shoves his way past bystanders, pulling on his long coat. “Pointy
” beams down close by, phaser in hand. Cue chase scene, as Harrison
sprint through alien crowds, across futuristic streets and finally leap onto passing airborne cargo-haulers (?)Harrison
kicks the gun from Spock’s
hand and hurls him into a protruding strut. The man is definitely not human. Luckily neither is Spock
. The pair brawl as the camera does its best to squander the choreography. Clarity is sidelined for frantic editing. It’s a damn shame.Harrison
tries to smush Spock’s
head between his hands. The weaker of the two, Spock
uses SCIENCE to reach up and Mind-Meld Harrison,
presumably triggering significant discomfort. It’s the total opposite of a damn shame.
in the head and jumps onto a second transport. It cuts to black as Spock
makes his much trailered death defying vault in pursuit!SPOILERIFICATION ENDSStar Trek: Into Darkness
’ Box Office opens at 9:05am tomorrow morning, April 9th while the full feature (including the above 34 minutes) warps into theatres on ay 17th.I am now a singularity of excitement.